Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
