The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
