Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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