Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize