This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize