I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I AM VODKA MAN
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
