CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize