She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
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