Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
