Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
