Me too!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
