and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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