direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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