Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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