You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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