What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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