Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize