would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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