Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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