I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
