You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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