If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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