I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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