jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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