Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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