I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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