oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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