when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
