Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize