2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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