I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
