Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Too much gin, very little bucket
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
