WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
