Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
