fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
