i permit you to call me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
