i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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