Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
