Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
