i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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