my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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