They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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