They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
