Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
