You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
