Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
