Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
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got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize