The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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