So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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