What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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