You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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