Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
