Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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