is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
