i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
