I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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