I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize