In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
