is your mom at the bar?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
