I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
