On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
